The Times - They Are A Changin'...(or are they?)

And here we go again - another update. Since the last one - things have been moving fast.. very fast. I'm not sure where to begin! (How about at the beginning?)

OK - I was born the son of a sharecropper....lol. OK -not that beginning! Let's start with Sunday. Did the family thng with Tian & Tatz & the kids. Had fun. Cooked out, swam a bit, and played cards. 'Nuff said!

Still no word from BJ or Pa... I guess Pa finally got the message - but what's up with BJ? I ought to find out.

D? - he's cute, he's waaay too young - and he's curious. Should I risk the friendship and go for the gusto - or discourage the intimacy and just settle for a cool side-kick and partner-in-crime? These past few days - he's been leading the conversation into uncharted territory and it's been pretty intense. But is he just fishing for information or is it a lead-in to something more? And why the hell have I developed a conscious? And when did it fuckin' happen? A couple of years ago - I would have been all over him like white on rice and damn the consequences - but after the whole deal with Chris - I've started to worry about feelings, and friendships, and all that crap. I won't risk a good friendship for a piece of ass - even one as cute as D. So where is all this headed? Your guess is as good as mine?

Youngblood is home from PR. He got home last Wednesday - and had his kid up to visit from last Thursday morning until last night. We've talked a couple of times - and will probably get together and hang out either today or else tomorrow, when I'm off again from work.

Speaking of tomorrow - I think I'm supposed to go see G. (across the road). I've been dodging him for a while - but he caught me last night. Came knocking at my window at 12:30am - says he saw the light on - but he's bullshitting there. G. was a bit ripped.. and wanted to talk. Actually, he was feeling a little frisky and wanted to mess around. In the backyard of his house. With his wife in the house asleep - and liable to wake up at any time. I don't think so. So we talked - he kept trying to feel me up and was more octopus than man for a little while there. But I held my ground and said no way. I don't mind messing around - and I don't mind married guys. It's all good! : ) But I'm not messing with a guy out in the open in his backyard - wth his wife less than 100 feet away. Besides - G. is a bullshitter. He only comes around when he wants something - and he's not my cup of tea either. Great bod - and he's good when it comes to using that bod - but he's trouble waiting to happen. If he was single - or if I didn't know (and like his wife) - I'd be all over him... I can't help it - I like trouble sometimes! But he has way too much baggage (literally & hypothetically) to mess with.

Maybe I'm reading too much into all this? Just like D., I need to say "screw the moral judgements & consequences" and just go for the action. I spent too many years "in love" and loyal to one person - who turned out to be a two-timing lying piece of shit. I need to just cut the drama and have fun now. The more the merrier. I'm being offered a great variety of choices... and most of them could be fun. What to do? What to do?

You know what really trips me out? Six years ago , no gray hairs, and 40 pounds less than I am now - I had my share of action, but it was tough to get a hook-up or find guys willing to mess around - no strings attached. Now. I'm gettting older, my hair is turning grey, and I have a belly... and I'm getting offers and opportunities like never before. Maybe it's attitude now? Or maybe I've just turned into a nicer guy and people are starting to realize that (yeah - right!). Whatever the reason - it's a strange situation. Uh-oh! D. is here. Gotta go! I think we're having breakfast together while we watch a tape of last night's RAW! I was off (for a change) - but he had to work - so I recorded it for him. (Ain't I a sweetie?) Time to get RAW!

See ya later..
-Doug