Taken With A Grain Of Salt....

Another night and ready to go to work. I just figure that tonite, I'll just ramble a bit. What? Me? Ramble? Yeah - I do that sometimes. Believe it or not! I'm just so damn tired and lonely right now. Tired - I understand. I never get much rest - it seems as if I'm always on the go - to work - doing something with the family - on the computer - hanging out with the neighbors - arguing with Pa - hanging out with D. - the wrestling stuff, etc.. I don't want to give up any of it - and I truly enjoy everyone I associate with and the things we do - but I just want 2 or 3 days where I can be alone - no people, no computer, no work , no pets, no nothing. Is that too much to ask sometimes? It just seems sometimes as if I'm trapped in a cycle where it never ends - nothing gets accomplished and it just keeps going and going - it's never boring, but it's so damn monotonous. (Did I spell that right?).

Hell - I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I need to shut up and suck it up. I've only myself to blame if I feel trapped... and only I can change things. Until I make the decision to do so - it's all a moot point anyhow.

Greg called today. I was asleep and missed the call. I'll call him tomorrow afternoon and find out whassup with my little brother. He sounds good - probably lonely out there in Indiana doing the truck driving school thingee.... But he needed to make a change and move on with his life after the shit his ex-wife Cheryl pulled. And he's doing that. Good for him.

I wish I could talk to Brent. I want to call him up, but I don't want to inturrupt anything - he's a busy guy, always on the go - damn, I miss that boy!

I think I'll take a cue from an interview I recently read about Arn Anderson (and Elicia's subsequent post after the interview was posted) and do a little word association stuff. People, places and things in my life ... and one or two words about them.. and how I see them. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Greg: My brother, my friend...

Youngblood: I could easily love him, but he's self-destructive. All the tools to be the best, but wasting it.

Neighbors: Use 'em, abuse 'em, and send them home.. Just kiddin! That's only for the sexy ones.

Dennis: Good company, fun guy..

Work: Gotta do it - stressful at times, but it keeps me real...

BJ: Doesn't have a pot to piss in - but great attitude. He's a real life "Jay"

Pa: The little bastard! Love him dearly, but don't like him at all...

Brent: Great guy! One of the best creative minds I've ever known - A true friend.

TMA: She's a soul-mate. A great lady whose as beautiful on the inside as outside. Another true friend.

Tian, Tatz & the Kids: My family. Unlike the family I was born to - this is the family I love and appreciate. And it's mutual. Love 'em all. 'Nuff said!

The Mother-Figure: She drives me crazy. I think she's out there sometimes - and she can be a bit (?) overbearing at times as well. But I do love her and I wouldn't want to ever lose her. She keeps me in line - to a degree. She also keeps me confined and restrained to a degree as well - she doesn't want to let go - but that's her. I deal with it.

Wrestling: The king of sports - and entertainment.

Writing: My escape and release. Without it - I'd go insane.

Laurinburg: Where I live - not great, but not bad. It's home.

Music: Sinatra, Waylon, Alice Cooper, Sublime & Rickie Lee Jones. Nothing else matters - but I listen to a little bit of everything. Those are the "Big 5" though...

TV: Some stuff is cool - but for the most part, TV sucks. I watch wrestling, news & cartoons. And Buffy & Angel too. That pretty much covers it for me.

Movies: Have a totally awesome and compelling story - or be totally stupid beyond belief. That's what works. It's about about being the best or worst. Bad taste rules!

My Life: I yam what I yam!

My Past: Been there & done that: wouldn't change much - even the bad stuff. It's all been an adventure.

My Future: Keep on trucking!

And that's enough. I need to go shave and scrounge up some dinner before I head out to the work-hole. Later my friends....
-Doug