Smells Like A Rose...

Late Friday night - or early Sunday morning, if you prefer. The mother-figure is staying over at my sister's again - and D. just left... so I'm all alone again! : ( Not a bad day. Watched the movie "Be Cool" with John Travolta & The Rock... along with many others. Not a great movie - but good enough. Funny! The Rock as "Elliot" was the highlight.. Cedric the Entertainer & Vince Vaughn were funny too! And Aereosmith too! Who wasn't in this movie? I can see why it didn't win any major awards - but it was still a fun little way to kill two hours. On a 1 - 5 scale -I'll give it a 3 1/2..... Good fun!

Had an interesting talk with D. tonight. I fixed us dinner - turkey breast with stuffing, baked beans, potato salad & biscuits! I'm not a bad cook if i say so myself - and did a good job! I thought about getting all fancy - but I don't want to ruin things - so it was just paper plates and sitting around the den while watching TV and talking instead. Good thing it wasn't anything serious. D's mom has heard things about me and asked him what the deal was with our friendship. I think she's getting a little nervous about her son. D tells me that he told her we were just friends - nothing more. And not to worry aobut anything. I can see why she's worried - he's a great guy, sexy as hell, and at the impressionable age of 18.. and all of a sudden, he's hanging out with this old guy, who's a known homosexual. I'd be worried too! But in this case, there's nothing to worry about. D is a smart guy and no one - not even me - can convince him to do anything he doesn't want to do. We're friends - with similar tastes in music, movies, wrestling, etc. His mom has nothing to worry about if she thinks I'm going to take advantage of or hurt her son. He still dates girls and I've been encouraging him about that. I'm not giving up my other relationships and why should he? If anything ever happens between us - cool! And if not, well, that's cool! But I'd sooner just vanish from D's life rather than cause him any problems or have him catch any grief because of his friendship with me. I'm not going to hide who or what I am for anyone. But I'm not flashy or flamboyant & I don't want to have someone else suffer because of their relationship with me. Me & D's mother get along fine, so maybe she's just being careful and this will all blow over. I may just go chill with her one day and reassure her that nothing is going on with me & her son - and hopefully, she can feel better about our relationship. Who knows?

My Ma is actually fairly cool about the whole deal. The gay thing - she doesn't want to know... anything. She know's I'm gay, but lives in a major state of denial.. like the U.S. Military. Our house is a "don't ask-don't tell" zone. I think she suspects something about D., but since she has no proof - and we're not blatant or obvious - and since I've been more pleasant to be around for the past month or so... she's just going with the flow. She's just happy to see me hanging out with someone who will get me out of the house sometimes - and doesn't drink or smoke... and has a job! She pretty much lives in her own world most of the time anyhow - she knows what's going on, but filters out the stuff she doesn't like or understand. Whatever works for her, I guess. She likes D.and thinks he's a good kid! She'd still rather see me dating women (what mother wouldn't) - but so long as I'm acting happy - it's all OK.

This is beginning to turn into a ramble and I don't want to do that. I'll quit now and go read some e-mails or something. I still need to do a new column - I even have my subject matter outlined out for a couple of good columns if I ever quit procrastinating. But I just don't feel inspired about the wrestling right now.. and for my last two columns - I want them to have feeling and that magic... and not just be going through the motions.

Aw, to hell with it! I'm going to bed! Until the morning comes!
-D