Mixed Emotions

What was it that the Rolling Stones used to say about mixed emotions? I'm on an emotional roller coaster from hell right now.. and it bites. But I'm not upset or stressing. Usually, I'd be a basket case right now, but I'm doing OK.

Two things happened last night and today - but I feel good tonight. Last night - the return of the little bastard. Pa is back. He came to the store around 2:30am - knowing I lock up at 3am for an hour. I was going to kick him out before I closed up, but he was persistant that he needed to talk to me. Total BS - I know, but still.. Damn, the boy was looking good. I locked up and quickly mopped my floor as he followed me around and he kept talking. We walked into the back and he grabbed me and started groping and kissing me and was like an octopus with about a dozen extra arms. I just stood there, not reacting and he was just kissing and licking (the boy always has had a thing for licking - kinky freak!) - and then he pulled away. "You know I love you!"
It was just surreal. Anyhows, I pushed him off and listened to him ramble as I went about filling up my coolers and cleaning my bathrooms. Now he wants to get together on Tuesday night when I have the house to myself and the mother-figure (who really hates him with a passion) - will be staying at Terri's... Just fuckin' surreal and weird. I don't trust the boy, but I gotta admit - he can push all my buttons just like that... and I do have strong lust feelings for the guy. After all these years and all the BS - and the feelings are still there. Where this is going - I don't know! It's been a helluva ride for a while... and I guess it still continues.

As for today, I went for a walk. Just something to do - no big deal. And here comes D. driving by. I haven't seen him in a couple of days. He stops and we talk for a bit. He's been tied up with his girlfriend (not literally - he's not into bondage - damn it!)- and busy. Yeah - whatever. But we rode around for a while and went to Wal-Mart for a bit and talked. We came home and watched a John-Boy & Billy Playhouse tape I have... and laughed. And then it got serious as we talked about our lives.. and what's been going on. I mentioned that Pa came by the store last night.. and D. got upset. He told me I should leave Pa alone. He's trouble and a piece of shit. I know all that, but I mentioned something about how it's just lust and better than nothing. He asked if he was nothing. Whoa! Getting into a touchy area here. Anyway, we talked for a bit and then he went home.

So where that's going,I don't know as well. Plus add BJ and the new guy (Patrick) to the mix. Have I talked about Patrick? Don't worry - if everything goes like I hope, then I will.. Heh! Heh!

I live in a roller coaster, soap opera world. Add the work stuff, the family stuff, the mother figure issues, my problems with DMV, Youngblood, etc... and now you know why I love wrestling so much. I need the occasional dose of reality to keep my head straight.

Enough rambling for now. I think the dog needs to go out and pee.. and I need a cold pepsi to wake myself up. So, I'm outta here for now. Time for work. It's Friday night! Should be fun!

-Doug