Friday Afternoon at the Homestead!

I feel so tired
so alone
I'm not really tired
but I am alone
always
and it seems, forever

I have friends
and lovers
but no life of substance
nothing I can look at
and be proud
and say "that's me!"
"that's mine"

this isn't living
it's existing!
but it's what I do
and the sad thing is
I have no one to blame but myself!

Ain't life a cocksucker sometimes!
Geez!